What's actually wrong with that old "download a car" ad

I finally thought about it and realised today why exactly that old "PIRACY. IT'S A CRIME" ad was so grating and stupid in the eyes of not just me but a lot of other people. (Trigger warning for Holocaust on the last one, but it's my favourite.)

And here's the reason it's stupid: it makes an improper logical leap.

It equates copyright infringement with theft metaphorically, then equates theft with crimes literally, and ignores that distinction to make the otherwise possibly reasonable assumption that if A → B and B → C, then A → C. That is:

1. Piracy is (metaphorically) theft.
2. Theft is (literally) a crime.
3. Piracy is (???) a crime.

And actually, to really make the argument it's making—that because there is a law you shouldn't break it—the ad also pretty much has to add an implied fourth term that because there is a law against something it must be inherently harmful/evil, so it's more like:

1. Piracy is (metaphorically) theft.
2. Theft is (literally) a crime.
3. Crimes are harmful and should not be done.
4. Therefore piracy is harmful and should not be done.

Now let's try that same idea with different things.

1. The government is a (metaphorical) octopus, extending its arms into everything
2. Octopuses are (literally) mollusks
3. Most mollusks live underwater
4. Therefore the government probably operates underwater

Government. It's a deep-sea operation.

1. Your brain is (metaphorically) your central computer
2. Computers are (literally) electronic computing devices
3. Electronic computing devices are usually made with plastic, metal, and silicon
4. Therefore your brain is probably made with plastic, metal, and silicon

Brains. They're a technological wonder.

1. Your body, according to the bible, is (metaphorically) a temple
2. Temples are a type of religious building.
3. Religious buildings in Christianity (or at least the statelier ones) often contain stained-glass windows, spires, and/or gargoyles.
4. Therefore you should be asking why your body doesn't have awesome gargoyles.

Bodies without gargoyles. It's a missed opportunity.

There could well be some little nuance I'm missing here since these sound a good deal more obviously absurd than the original, but I think this is the gist of it.

Footnotes

1. I realise I'm taking the octopus metaphor a little out of context in that it originally had to do with the US federal banking system rather than the government itself (and gosh was it a weird incident apparently), but to my credit, it has been used for a US government spy satellite.